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The Warp

Sagittarians song

I was trying to acquire some more information about who exactly I am. I am a Sagittarian and, in an attempt to clarify matters, I wrote the following pieces of verse;

Sagittarians Song

pardon, may I career into your parlour?

excuse me, I am only half a horse

so will you wipe up after my hoofprints

dustpan and brush your way after my hoofprints

hoover up the (ahem) unfortunate leavings?

and, oh Mrs Domestic with the face and body of a South Sea


having emptied the dustbins and dimmed the lights

switched on the waste disposal unit and put the flowers

out of the sunlight, and drawn the muslin curtains,

may I be party to your Hawaiian ecstasy

prancing about but within reason?

may I be privy to graze in a meadow hard by your paddock?

I promise not to gallop or kick up too much dust

or make a mess on the lawn or scuffle up the flowerbeds

and I promise not to break many of the china cups

or drink up all the tea.

may I come into your bed?

Oh I know that this is rather sudden and

I know I have four legs

and that some people would say that’s four too many

but I can fold them up under me

and my hooves aren’t that sharp!

and I know I have a whisking tail

which whisks about and sometimes knocks things over

but in my opinion it could be actually useful

really quite useful for

wiping off dusty marks that we don’t like to see

on the furniture

that sort of thing,

and forget what I mentioned that bit about coming to your


I got carried away

I didn’t mean it

(I am harmless

O so truly harmless)

and Mrs Domestic

you who have Klene-Eze brushes for eyebrows

brillo pads

for softly gazing eyeballs

cleansing soap in your veins and arteries

and whose body is lithe and warm like a South Sea siren’s

may I career into your tastefully furnished parlour?

I promise not to gallop or take my saddle or bridle off.

excuse me but I really am only

half a horse.


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